InuYasha Parody
by inu'schick91
Summary: This is a parody of the episode where Sesshomaru runs into Kagura with her breasts accidentally exposed, and shows no reaction to that whatsoever. It's basically about what most fans were probably thinking during that moment in the show.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own "InuYasha." This is purely a fan made spoof on one of the episodes. I can't remember what it's called, so please tell me in the reviews. This is also meant to be a one shot, but if anyone wants me to write a full length fanfic. about this; please let me know and I will consider it.

After Kagura left, Rin asked Sesshy, "How could you just stand there and not notice that she was half naked? Is your penis not working properly?" Sesshomaru, who looked neutral before, suddenly blushed and stated in shock, "Rin! Who taught you that?! You aren't old enough to hear such talk!" Cute little Rin smiled as she answered, "Kagome told me that's what men do when pretty women put themselves on display." She was about to explain that further, but he refused to hear it. Sesshy shouted, "I forbid you to see the wench again! I will find you a more suitable female companion!" "...and a mother figure," he thought afterwards. "Like Kagura? She would be a good match for you," Rin replied. "No, not like her," he answered with another blush as they walked off. "Kids say the darndest things," he thought before he started thinking about "other things"; while keeping a straight face.

The End.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm updating this story and I changed the rating from T to M, because the plot gets more adult-rated as the story goes.  
Oh, and I forgot to mention that Sesshomaru killed Jaken in this story because he got too annoying. That's why he's not traveling with him and Rin, in case you were wondering. And I don't care if the characters are a little out of character, or if "non-canon" things happen.

-inu'schick91

As Sesshomaru and Rin were walking along, besides all the dirty thoughts he was thinking about Kagura; he also remembered that one time in the show when she came to ask him to help free her from Naraku. That blocked out the other thoughts. _"Why did she come to me? I don't care about her or anyone else for that matter, except Rin. I will kill Naraku, but not for her. I don't even give a damn if he kills my half-brother first. I only want to kill him because I hate him a hell of a lot more than Inuyasha." Sesshy stoically walks the rest of the way back to his palace...with the dirty thoughts about Kagura starting up again. When he got home, he finally _noticed the huge yearning bulge in his pants; covered it, and sent Rin off to play in her room. Then as she did what she was told, he went into his room, locked the door; and masturbated to Kagura. For a man with just one arm, he was pretty good at it too; which is not just good for him, but it would also be for his future mate. After doing that, he thought about her a little more at dinner; without showing any emotion, and realized that he loved her just as much as he wanted to do her. Rin, noticing that he was ignoring her story about the day she spent with her friend, Kagome; sometime outside of the episodes asked, "Sesshomaru, are you still listening? What are you thinking about?" "Nothing," he said quickly as he blushed. "Then, why are you blushing?" "I am not blushing," Sesshy angrilly shouted as he pounded on the table. "Ok then...", Rin said while backing up a little. Then, the servants left not wanting to make him more angry.

Meanwhile at Naraku's castle, Naraku just got finished torturing Kagura after Kanna told him she crossed paths with Sesshomaru earlier that day. As he sat alone in his bedroom he yelled, "Grr, I told Kagura time and time again that she's not allowed to speak to Sesshomaru! Stupid wench! I created her so I could have a mate since no woman wants to be with someone as evil as me! And yet, she wants one of my enemies! Forget Inuyasha, I'll kill Sesshomaru first!" Kohaku just happened to overhear what he said, before he started creating another set of his freakin' weak puppets to do his dirty work. Kohaku thought_, "This man is getting sicker by the min.! I thought Kagura was just Kanna's sister! I don't even want to think about what will happen to Kanna after she turns Kagura's age_!" (He gags a little as he walks away). As she was recovering from the beating Naraku had given her, Kagura thought_, "F-Naraku! Good thing that creepy kid, Hakudoshi, isn't here or he'd tell Naraku exactly how much I want him dead! F-ing mind reader_! _I wish I could kill him too!_" Then she started thinking about Sesshomaru for the 100th time since she flew home on one of her giant feathers_. "Even though he lost an arm, he still looks so...sexy. (gets horny and starts masturbating) I'll bet he can do more great things with his hand than handle that sword of his. And that dark, manly voice...Whenever I hear it, I melt_!" Then after she gave herself an orgasm, while she drempt about her and him doing it; and finished hours later, she thought about Sesshomaru in a more romantic sense. They both after all, have a dark side and would make a great couple.


	3. Chapter 3

Naraku's puppets found Sesshomaru the next day, as he was going over to pick on Inuyasha; who was camping with his group nearby. There were about 10 of them, but they were very easy to kill as Sesshomaru (and a number of others) are stronger than them. _"That was almost boring," _Sesshomaru thought as he slowly walked away from the broken wooden dolls. Rin then came out of the bush where she was hiding, and joined Sesshy. When they got to the Inutachi's campsite, Sesshy immediately picked a fight with his half-brother; while Rin went off to hang out with Kagome. He let her go with her, on the condition that she won't tell her anything innapropriate. Miroku, Sango, Kirara and Shippo stayed out of the fight since they have nothing to do with Inu's and Sesshy's beef with each other. They didn't even know why they bothered fighting anyway, since they figured a long time ago that the brothers would never actually kill each other; because neither one ever ended up dead or fatally injured. Not that they would want Inu to die, but still...

After yet another sibling-rivalry-related battle was over, Sesshomaru asked Shippo where Kagome and Rin went. Miroku made a perverted move on Sango in the background as Shippo, who was playing with Kirara; stopped what he was doing and answered, "They went to the hot springs." When he got to the hot springs, he overheard the last part of Rin's and Kagome's conversation; which was, "And that's how you use a condom." Sesshy stormed out from behind the trees, pulled Rin out of the water and told her to get dressed; as he took Kagome aside and asked, "What is a condom?" After she explained that to him, he suddenly got mad and yelled, "Why the hell does a little girl need to know those things?" Kagome didn't even care that she was still naked as she replied, "So, that when the day comes when she's with a boy; she'll be prepared (grins)." "I had my doubts about you! From now on, you are not allowed to babysit my daughter! I'm taking her to Kaede's house," Sesshy yelled. Overhearing that, Rin felt dissapointed but at the same time she thought_, "I better not ask if I can go visit Kagome anymore." "Damn, he sounded just like my mother when she tells me not to wear skimpy clothes outside the house_," Kagome thought as she put her extremely short skirt back on. On the way to Kaede's hut, Rin asked Sesshy why she had to stay there. "So that somebody can watch you while I go find you a new mother," he replied. Rin started jumping up and down and smiling as she shouted, "I'm getting a new mommy? Yay_!" "She is so cute and innocent. I hope she stays that way_," Sesshomaru thought without a smile. After she got dropped off, he went in search for Kagura.

I hope you're enjoying this story! I will update as soon as I can!

-inu'schick91


	4. Chapter 4

Author note: The reason I didn't mention Sesshomaru's pet, Ah-Un, and didn't write much about the other characters; is because this story is mostly supposed to be about Sesshomaru and Kagura.

Meanwhile at Naraku's castle, once Naraku and the rest of his spawns went to sleep; Kagura decided to sneak out into the night and search for Sesshomaru. Little did she know that, he was also searching for her. Surprizingly, she was able to get past everyone without getting caught. _"Naraku would destroy my heart for sure if he knew I was doing this. But, it is well worth the risk," _she thought as she flew off. After looking around for almost two hours, she finally spotted him in a field at one of the ends of the Western Lands; and landed right in front of him. "Kagura, I thought you were at Naraku's place," he stated in his usual monotone. "I was...But, as you know I hate it there. So, I had to get away." "And, you are talking to me because?" Kagura didn't reply, as she slowly took her kimono off while sauntering slowly closer to Sesshomaru. He watched her with a blank expression, as if he's seen hundreds of naked ladies and has gotten bored with them or something. "Why are you doing this," he asked. "I've been pushed around and deprived of my rights by Naraku for way too long, and I've secretly loved you for the longest time! Take me now, Lord Sesshomaru," she exclaimed as she stopped walking; adding a seductive smile. Now she was fully nude and although Sesshomaru thought she looked even more beautiful that way, he was reluctant to submit to her request at first. That is until she jumped on top of him, knocking him down. He didn't push her off of him, or even complain as she proceeded to almost rip all of his clothes off; while practically kissing him all over his body. After several min. of this, he finally admitted to himself that he was enjoying it; and then to show his appreciation, he held her close and started kissing her back. And although he hasn't penetrated her yet, she suddenly felt both really excited and shocked at his reaction; as she also felt his member finally getting hard. Then, they both did a little foreplay before he finally got on top of her and finished the deed. It hurted Kagura a little, since this was her first time; but she also enjoyed having her true love inside of her. He sort of felt the same way, as they both got orgasms eventually. It was almost morning when they were done, and they laid in each other's arms; and then Sesshomaru told Kagura something nobody ever thought he would say to anybody. He told her, "I...love...you." Then, they kissed a little more and fell asleep on top of each other's kimonos afterwards. When morning came, they got dressed, and headed over to the nearest town for breakfast; which they got for free since the townspeople were afraid they would attack them if they didn't just give them food. Afterwards, they ended up not attacking the village and they left the restaraunt without even thanking the waiter. They then headed towards Kaede's house to pick up Rin, talking more amongst themselves about their lives along the way.

Suddenly, they both noticed that one of Naraku's giant bees flew overhead! Kagura smiled as she killed it with her "Dance of Blades" attack. Little did she know, that back at Naraku's castle Kanna noticed she was gone; found her with her magic mirror, and told Naraku her exact location!

Chapter 5 will be added A.S.A.P.


	5. Chapter 5

On the way to Kaede's village, Sesshomaru and Kagura were abruptly stopped by Naraku (the real thing, not a puppet)! "How dare you defy me," he told Kagura with a growl. Kagura noticed that he forgot to bring her heart and reinforcements with him, so she replied with a cocky attitude, "I'm surprized you decided to get off your lazy ass and do your own bidding for once!" He frowned at that and after a min. or two threatened, "I've had enough of these hard-to-get-games! If you don't come with me and give yourself to me, I'll kill you!" Kagura thought, _"I never played hard to get with him! I only faked my period so many times so that he wouldn't touch me!" _She then wrapped her arms around Sesshomaru, making Naraku even more pissed off. Naraku went towards them and said, "Fine, then! I'll just have to kill you!" He took a min. to feel around for the box where he keeps Kagura's heart. But then once he realized it wasn't there, he said, "Damn, I guess I'm not going to kill you right now. Oh well, I'll just take you for now. Besides, my package is much more impressive than his anyway." Kagura rolled her eyes and thought_, " Huh! In your opinion, maybe_." Sesshomaru replied in an uncharacteristic, teasing tone, "How do you know that?" Embarassed, Naraku became speechless as he tried to think of a way to answer that. "Are you sure you're not pursuing Kagura in order to compensate for something?" Kagura giggled a little as Naraku shouted, "You're one to talk, mister wears-women's-make-up-and has flowers and a fluffy thing on the kimono underneath his armor!" Sesshy pulled out his Tokijin sword and shouted, "They're birthmarks, damn it! And I wear this outfit because I'm supposed to be both pretty and deadly! Oops, I just made myself sound gay! But, I'm not and you always look like you're wearing eyeshadow!" Kagura laughed out loud at that one. "Shut up, woman," Naraku shouted as he sprouted his extra body parts, getting ready to fight! Kagura got ready for battle too as she shouted, "This is the last time you'll tell me what to do, you bastard!" She then told Sesshomaru to stay back, and then did her "Dance of the Dragon" attack! Naraku went down after that, but Sesshomaru went up to him and poked him with Tokijin anyway...just to make sure he was dead. He was.

"That was so unlike him, to not at least put up a barrier. But, at least no one has to bother with him anymore," Sesshomaru stated as he and Kagura left the scene. "That made my job a lot easier, but what will happen in the future? Will Kanna or Hakudoshi take his place? I can handle Kanna, but Hakudoshi will definitely pose as a challenge," she replied. "Who knows. The only future I know about is our's," Sesshy replied with a smile. She smiled back and then they stopped to kiss. Then, they decided to go back to Naraku's former castle and get her heart back; but before that, they stopped to rest at Kaede's. While they were there, they told her and Rin that it was going to be a while longer before they all go back to Sesshy's and have a wedding.

This is the end of Chapter Five. There will be another one soon, I promise! Also, feel free to tell me what you think should happen next if you want to.

-inu'schick91


	6. Chapter 6

_"_After Naraku died, Kohaku returned to normal, managed to kill Kanna; and escape from his castle. It wasn't very much of an effort, since her only power was to be Naraku's all-seeing eye. After he did that, he ran off to tell his sister that Naraku is finally dead_. "I am so happy to finally be free of that mother f-er_," Kohaku thought with joyous expressions. On the way, he was spotted by Hakudoshi; who instantly learned everything from reading his mind from a distance. As he stealthily followed he thought_, "With Naraku gone, this will give me a chance to take over everything (smiles evilly_)." As soon as Kohaku got to wherever the Inutachi was, (I'm guessing they were in a forest nearby Naraku's Palace); he told everybody about Naraku's death. Suddenly after they all cheered, they were startled by a creepy laugh coming from right behind them! As soon as they found out that Hakudoshi was stalking them, they got into their battle positions; as Kohaku thought, _"How the hell did I miss him?" _"Damn, I forgot about you and Naraku's other spawn," Inu shouted. "Naraku sent me to kill you and all of your friends, a while ago; but I don't know the wherabouts of my sisters, as I left way before Naraku died. I also forgot to mention that my horse, Entei passed away so he can't help me. Oh well, I don't need him anyway," Hakudoshi said in his eerie, emoish monotone. Then suddenly, Sesshomaru and Kagura arrived at the scene and Inuyasha asked them what the hell they were doing there. "We're just passing through, and by the way...Kagura killed Naraku," Sesshomaru stated stoically; which is the way he always talks except when he's angry. While all the previous events were being explained, with a few insults and threats exchanged; Miroku thought_, "Why must we always go through these ridiculous formalities before each major battle? If either side had any intentions to get to actually fighting each other, shouldn't they just start attacking instead of wasting time talking_?" After several min. of this, they finally started brawling.

Sango tried throwing her Hiraikotsu boomerang at him first, but it bounced off of his barrier and nearly hit half of the group! Then, everybody else tried attacking after that...except for Kohaku and Miroku. All of those powerful attacks backfired... which luckily they were all able to dodge! And then, Hakudoshi nearly killed Shippo and Kirara with his naginata! Kagome tried shooting at him, but her arrows did no good. Next, Sesshomaru tried going for him but got intercepted by his half brother who said cockily, "I don't need your help!" Then, he proceeded to fail at his attacks again_. "Damn, I usually break through force fields no matter how strong they are_," he thought as he kept trying. After a while, Hakudoshi got annoyed with that and tried using his weapon against Inuyasha. But, Sesshomaru blocked it with one of his swords and said; "Nobody picks on my little bro. but me!" Inuyasha smiled as he thought, _"Wow, he's never defended me before! I guess he really does care!" _But immediately afterwards, they both shrugged it off and both tried futilely to fight him off. Miroku then tried to suck him in with his Windtunnel when he thought he least expected it. But, it didn't work! He caught him trying to do that and released a whole swarm of Naraku's poisonous, demonic wasps out of his sleeves! Miroku quickly put away his Windtunnel, and ran in the opposite direction; screaming like a girl. Sango protected him by slicing them all to pieces with her Hiraikotsu. He stopped, all out of breath and smiled as he thanked "his woman" for saving his life. She said, "Don't mention it," and they were two inches away from kissing; but then a few secs. later, they focused back on the fight. Sango took Kirara and Shippo to a safe distance, and tried to help them out the best she could; while the others tried to think of ways to beat Hakudoshi. While Hakudoshi was being distracted by most of the remaining warriors, Miroku thought_, "Maybe I should create a diversion that would make him let his guard down, therefore giving someone a chance to finally kill him! Yes, that would most definitely work! (smiles mischievously_)" He then shouted to Kagome, "Do something slutty!" Hakudoshi then looked at her. She giggled and said, "Ok," like the ditz she is; and then lifted her shirt all the way up. Hakudoshi was so mesmerized by that image, that he let go of his barrier; and fell to the ground. And then Kagura came up behind him and successfully diced him up with her "Dance of Blades" attack_! "I've always wanted to do that_," she thought with satisfaction as everybody else cheered.

This is the end of Chapter 6. I will update as soon as possible. Sorry it took so long to come up with good ideas. I was busy with other stuff most of the time.

-inuschick91


	7. Chapter 7

After Hakudoshi was finally "eighty-sixed", the Inutachi talked with Sesshomaru and Kagura. That is, after Sesshomaru cured Shippo and Kirara with his Tenseiga... which made everyone except Kagura wonder what's up with this sudden display of caring emotion. "Why are you with Sesshomaru and why didn't you help Hakudoshi," Inuyasha asked Kagura and Sesshomaru. She answered, "First of all, I only used to attack you and your friends when Naraku controlled my free will. And not only was I forced to obey that bastard, while he was still alive; but I also had to tiptoe around those two creepy, little brats and those damn giant bees or else I would've been ended. So, they all deserved to die. Besides, although I couldn't admit this until now; I never had any problems with you guys... with the exception of the village whore over there (looks straight at Kagome while saying that)." "Hey! How did you know about 'future boy', 'wolf man', and all the other guys who are into me; besides Inuyasha and possibly Sesshy," Kagome questioned suspiciously. _"I knew she was loose, but i didn't know she's been around the block THAT MANY times," _the rest of the Inutachi thought simultaneously. _"Good thing I never did it with her," _Inuyasha thought with a look of disgust. Kagura just glared at Sesshomaru in response to that. Sesshy told his future wife, "Not really, she just checks me out whenever I cross paths with that particular group of traveling warriors. The only woman I've ever loved is you." An obvious look of dissapointment appeared on Kagome's face, as Kagura smiled and thought; _"You see that it stays that way, or I will!" _Everybody else was all wearing classic, anime style, shocked and confused expressions; as they all thought, _"What? Sesshomaru's not entirely frigid?" _Sesshomaru gave them all annoyed looks as he said, "We finally had a night of passion, and now we're getting Kagura's heart back; and getting married, so what!" The shocked looks continued (with Kagura jumping up and down in excitement). Sesshomaru sighed as he thought, _"My brother and his friends are so stupid." _Then, he did the unthinkable. He invited them to the wedding. "Why? Are you saying that it won't be a party without us," Inu asked with a big smile; which he quickly turned into a neutral face after realizing he was doing that. Then, even though Sesshomaru really did sort of bond with his brother and his friends; instead of expressing those feelings, he coldly replied, "Don't read too much into it, Inuyasha. You're still a weakling hanyou to me, and I still want nothing to do with the rest of your group." "Feh! That is so typical of you! Bastard," Inuyasha replied crossing his arms and making a face. But, Sesshy and Kagura already left so they didn't hear him. Everybody else was still confused, as Inuyasha smiled and thought, _"So, my brother does love me after all!" _After that, Inuyasha dumped Kagome and all his friends were like, "Good riddance!" While she headed home in tears, the rest of them took off towards Kaede's village; to tell her and everybody else there the good news. After that, the whole village had a wild sake drinking and dancing party; celebrating the ultimate evil demons's deaths...and the fact that Kagome is not going to bother Inu anymore.

Meanwhile, Sesshomaru and Kagura got to Naraku's former castle; put Kagura's heart back into her chest (gross) , and went to go pick up Rin. When they got to Kaede's house, they wanted to join the party; but they had a child to take care of and many other things to do. So, they took Rin home and they all went to bed. A few days later, the wedding was on and all the guests came; including a bunch of youkai royalty that the Inutachi didn't know. Everything looked really beautiful, including Kagura's pink, purple, and white; bridal kimono, with flowers adorning it. Actually, both she and Rin got a bunch of new clothes from Sesshy; and Rin looked so cute all dressed up like her new mother (who bonded with her after getting to know her for a few days). She even started pretending that she was a wind sorceress too, sometimes. Anyway during the reception, after everybody ate; Shippo and Rin went off to play with all the kids their age. Kirara followed them, while all the adults communicated and danced amongst themselves. While Inuyasha chatted up an attractive, female, dog demon he spotted across the room; Miroku and Sango went out into the front courtyard, to have a private conversation. As they stood in the middle of a bridge, in this very romantic setting; Sango said, "Um...now that Naraku and most of his spawn are dead...do you want to go through with our promise of marriage and children?" "That's a no-brainer," Miroku said in excitement. Then, they finally said that they loved each other and kissed passionately. After several min. of making out and exploring each other's bodies with their hands, they walked with their arms around each other and smiling; towards one of Sesshomaru's many guest chambers. While they were walking, Sango told Miroku seductively, "Remember all of the times you touched me innapropriately, and I smacked you upside your lecherous head? (Miroku nods) Well, I secretly liked it and I always wanted to touch you back. Let's get to working on those 20 babies, shall we?" Miroku chuckled and grinned as he thought_, "I knew Sango wanted me, underneath that tough-yet-innocent exterior!" "Alright! I finally made him mine! (grins) But, I'll only bare a few of his children_," Sango thought.

As anyone could imagine, Sango and Miroku were both tigers in the bedroom; and they did finish their first time together. They only had a few hours though, since Sesshomaru did not invite them to stay overnight. Here's what went down. Sango locked the door and said, "I wonder what's underneath all those robes?" You could clearly see on Miroku's face that he got hard by now, as Sango swiftly ran over and pushed him onto the bed forcefully. Then, she mounted him and stripped him down to nothing; and everything went passionately from there. Anyway a few weeks later, Kagura found out that she was pregnant! She got violently sick at Miroku's and Sango's wedding...for no reason at first, she thought. Her family pulled her aside and asked her what the matter was, since she seemed fine earlier. She took a few min. to answer. Then as she recovered enough to be taken home and put to bed, she figured out that; she had skipped her period that month, and told Sesshomaru who obviously enjoyed the unusually peaceful week; when she was supposed to have it. That is because for demon women, P.M.S. means "P.M.D.S." (Pre-Menstrual Death Syndrome). As in, she would kill anyone who crosses her during that time of the month! No wonder Naraku was always scared of her whenever she said she was on "her thing"! Anyway, Sesshomaru was clearly thrilled to hear that Kagura was going to bear his child as he kissed her multiple times on the cheek. He didn't want to go near her lips, in case she was going to throw up again...which she didn't. Rin was equally excited about getting a sibling to play with and love. She exclaimed while jumping up and down, "Hooray! I don't remember the last time I had a happy and whole family! I hope I get a baby sister! (smiles a mile wide and hugs her parents)" "Ha ha, maybe," Kagura tells Rin as both her and Sesshy return the affection_. "She is too adorable_," Kagura thought fondly.

This is the end of the story. If you want me to make a sequel, please let me know in the reviews; but I won't promise you that one will come soon... if at all. Also, if anyone wants me to make a sequel, can you please let me know if you have any ideas as to what will happen next? Plus, will you let me know if you have any ideas regarding what the new babies's names will be; what they will look like, and what kinds of personalities they will have? Thanks. I hope you enjoyed this parody.

-inu'schick91


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